For about the last 15 years give or take a year hear or there, i've been going to Iris Bob's every Memorial day. Bob grows "Tall Bearded Iris," and he does it smack in the middle of Denver and he has become a Master at it. Bob is the national president of the "Tall Bearded Iris" society. Most of all though, Bob and his family are as gentle as the blossoms of beauty and joy they grow. And every year they are gorgous and every year they are totally different. Day to day they change. Minute to minute if you can find the sun dancing on a lady's beard.
i don't know why exactly and to be honest, i find myself not caring one whit to find out, why it is, that i go back to the same place and the same life form year and season time after time. Initially,when i first step into the Iris patch, i am blind. i look bu† do not see. Initially, the Iris all look the same and will continue to do so for as long as i hold onto "seeing" "Iris" as concept rather than as a uniquely beautiful manifestation of life's joy happening right frigging in front ot me! Sometimes its a bitch stepping back and out of my "expert photographer mind" and jumping into the unknown waters of a "beginners mind," of seeing with a childs heart and eyes instead. Instead of the know-it-all-seen-it-all-ain't-nothing-new-under-the-sun-been-there-done-that eyes of a curmudgeonly old coot.
Let me explain. You see, Iris' only bloom once a year so its a big deal when they do. When they do, i immerse myself in their arising. Their aroma, their colors and many subtle hues, their lines and edges, their flutterings and muted whispers as they dance in the sun and wind. Each time i sink down to the ground having found or felt or been drawn to a particular grouping, or color (s) and i give full concentration to the art and the craft of image making. This concentration is built upon excitement and interest and on awe and wonder. As it deepens, serenity and joy often arise. The image is always surprizing........But this does not happen until i have worked through the images in my mind's-eye of the "way it was before." And this takes time. It takes awareness. Awareness which blossoms from the roots of mindfulness.
i was sitting....hiding really. From the noisy crowds milling about the Denver Botanic Gardens. it was a hot day and i was lamenting and moaning, i was complaining and judging left right up and down. Nothing was right! Blah Blah Blah. i watched ego do its bitter complaint of "oh poor me" i watched as ego shot slings and arrows of "how bad it all was," the old refrain of victimization. A song with no tune and little rhythm. i felt my body scrunch down, my heart turn inwards, and i knew there was simply no way i was going to be able to have any fun much less photograph a blooming thing until i could!!
So i found some shade and began to practice mindfulness. Paying attention to sounds. Bird song (most pleasant) construction sounds - not! Leaning back i let go and focused instead on love. i remembered recent experiences of sitting in love with people i love and my heart opened a bit more. In that opening i saw that i could not possibly see what was present and available to me in the here n now (the there n then) as long as my memories of before continued to cloud my mind. Had to let go of the past. Let go of the judging mind which could not see what it refused to accept. That nothing stays the same - that everything changes. The "garden-in-my-mind" simply was not and never would be the "garden-before-my-eyes." i understood.
Playing is essential. A child's heart is a heart inclined, among other things, towards play. it's a heart inclined towards curiosity and joy, wonderment and delight.
Last year it would not have occured to me to take four exposures and find compositions in which i could kinda "walk my way into the flower" using very careful and precise focusing. A kind of intense concentration building upon mindfulness and contemplation and employing the best Nikon has to offer and the kind of patience that seems to only grow out of a realization that everything is perfect as it is. In the moment.
This is a 4-stop multiple exposure. Al, a guy i know told me he was "a 4 stop man." So i decided to try and be like Al. Can't say that i know how to fully utilize the windows it opens up just yet...........BUT.
A cool thing is that you can play with pre-visualization. Blurring and defocusing in different ways to creat color washes, hints of depth and of the "more." Plus, there is simply no way in hell you could get edges on three or four distinct focal planes in any other way. Stopping down would eliminate the mystery and shatter the softness of the image. True! Its not sharp. Its not about sharpness as much as its about feeling and mood. About trying to wor out, work past, and see through the clouds of our memories.
These last years, seem to find me perceiving a juxtaposition of old and new, of form and energy changing from one stage / form to an other. i am sure this is a reflection of my mortality. i see and feel the bones inside me. "Dead man walking." i am finding freedom from letting go. Peace in not knowing, and joy in the widening and the opening of my heart.
doc rob
i don't know why exactly and to be honest, i find myself not caring one whit to find out, why it is, that i go back to the same place and the same life form year and season time after time. Initially,when i first step into the Iris patch, i am blind. i look bu† do not see. Initially, the Iris all look the same and will continue to do so for as long as i hold onto "seeing" "Iris" as concept rather than as a uniquely beautiful manifestation of life's joy happening right frigging in front ot me! Sometimes its a bitch stepping back and out of my "expert photographer mind" and jumping into the unknown waters of a "beginners mind," of seeing with a childs heart and eyes instead. Instead of the know-it-all-seen-it-all-ain't-nothing-new-under-the-sun-been-there-done-that eyes of a curmudgeonly old coot.
Let me explain. You see, Iris' only bloom once a year so its a big deal when they do. When they do, i immerse myself in their arising. Their aroma, their colors and many subtle hues, their lines and edges, their flutterings and muted whispers as they dance in the sun and wind. Each time i sink down to the ground having found or felt or been drawn to a particular grouping, or color (s) and i give full concentration to the art and the craft of image making. This concentration is built upon excitement and interest and on awe and wonder. As it deepens, serenity and joy often arise. The image is always surprizing........But this does not happen until i have worked through the images in my mind's-eye of the "way it was before." And this takes time. It takes awareness. Awareness which blossoms from the roots of mindfulness.
i was sitting....hiding really. From the noisy crowds milling about the Denver Botanic Gardens. it was a hot day and i was lamenting and moaning, i was complaining and judging left right up and down. Nothing was right! Blah Blah Blah. i watched ego do its bitter complaint of "oh poor me" i watched as ego shot slings and arrows of "how bad it all was," the old refrain of victimization. A song with no tune and little rhythm. i felt my body scrunch down, my heart turn inwards, and i knew there was simply no way i was going to be able to have any fun much less photograph a blooming thing until i could!!
So i found some shade and began to practice mindfulness. Paying attention to sounds. Bird song (most pleasant) construction sounds - not! Leaning back i let go and focused instead on love. i remembered recent experiences of sitting in love with people i love and my heart opened a bit more. In that opening i saw that i could not possibly see what was present and available to me in the here n now (the there n then) as long as my memories of before continued to cloud my mind. Had to let go of the past. Let go of the judging mind which could not see what it refused to accept. That nothing stays the same - that everything changes. The "garden-in-my-mind" simply was not and never would be the "garden-before-my-eyes." i understood.
Playing is essential. A child's heart is a heart inclined, among other things, towards play. it's a heart inclined towards curiosity and joy, wonderment and delight.
Last year it would not have occured to me to take four exposures and find compositions in which i could kinda "walk my way into the flower" using very careful and precise focusing. A kind of intense concentration building upon mindfulness and contemplation and employing the best Nikon has to offer and the kind of patience that seems to only grow out of a realization that everything is perfect as it is. In the moment.
This is a 4-stop multiple exposure. Al, a guy i know told me he was "a 4 stop man." So i decided to try and be like Al. Can't say that i know how to fully utilize the windows it opens up just yet...........BUT.
A cool thing is that you can play with pre-visualization. Blurring and defocusing in different ways to creat color washes, hints of depth and of the "more." Plus, there is simply no way in hell you could get edges on three or four distinct focal planes in any other way. Stopping down would eliminate the mystery and shatter the softness of the image. True! Its not sharp. Its not about sharpness as much as its about feeling and mood. About trying to wor out, work past, and see through the clouds of our memories.
These last years, seem to find me perceiving a juxtaposition of old and new, of form and energy changing from one stage / form to an other. i am sure this is a reflection of my mortality. i see and feel the bones inside me. "Dead man walking." i am finding freedom from letting go. Peace in not knowing, and joy in the widening and the opening of my heart.
doc rob
