"How do you take a photograph like that?"

I was at my local camera club meeting the other night.  It was the new year get together and an opportunity to show our stuff!   In the past, I've looked forwards to the opportunity with fear and trembling which best serves to get me all tangled and knotted up.  An ego-boost pure and simple, I know.  But what is one to do except recognize that we all seek praise.  This time around though, I was determined to approach the event with a different intent, to have no expectations and to put all that "praise and glory" stuff aside  or, at least be mindful of it as it came up.   I managed to manage several brief moments of mindfulness in between the "brutal observations" of the critic who ruthlessly tore apart every other image and photographer before mine and me and the equally familiar and equally fantastical expectations of praise and adulation for when my stuff FINALLY graced  the screen.

In other words,  I was stuck in the ego far far away from "mindless mind," where all the good stuff occurs.

However, finally, my stuff appeared.  13 images chosen to show a little more diversity in my work, some walls to go along with my trees and flowers.

The images were movin right along and we were getting into the heart of my recent work, and some of the images I am particularly pleased with.........and vulnerable about as they feel so raw still when I look at them:

.....such as this one I call: "In the Cool, falling rain."  When one of the club members suddenly asked:  "how do you take a photograph like that?"

The question was and is a  good one.  In the moment, however,  it caught me off guard. I wanted to be mindful, and thoughtful  "with patience, observation, and playfulness," I offered.

This was not an untrue answer but it was not the whole answer either.  There is more.   In retrospect, a more complete answer to that question is:  "You don't.  You don't take images like this,  They come to you as gifts....I didn't take it.  It gave itself to me. 


doc rob

Serendipity

 I'm pretty sure most photographers have had the experience of discovering some hidden jewel amongst their files or their negatives and not having the slightest clue, cue, or memory of ever having seen it much less consciously taken it.   I think of such occurances as "orphan images,"  and there are some common traits these stand-alone-images share.  For starters there is only one maybe two image(s) instead of the normal several or dozens the typical photographer takes, and what I usually make when a suitable subject gets my attention.  Secondly, when you do finally see one it demands your attentiveness, it tickles your curiosity, brings a little smile to your face.

"Orphan images,"  I am coming to see are likely to be harbingers, messages from the muses, and glimpses of new ways of perceiving the worlds we  indwell  as our lives unfold and as our art grows.  I have a couple of images that fit that category.   I bet most photographers do.

 " Orpheus," here to the left, is an orphan.  One of a kind.  When I first saw it my jaw dropped and my mind quieted down.  Orpheus, as the story goes, was an argonaut and partied with  Eros, Athena, Dionysus, Hermes, Helene, and Persephone.  He was privy to all their tales and secrets.  Like who was doing who?

This "Orpheus," however, shines forth in some super-nova like light.  When I saw it I was stunned!  How could I have possibly missed this extra-ordinary back ground, this painterly light???  How could I have been mindless of this unusual bluish dahlia? 

But, I did.  Sometimes art is like that.

Life often is.

You catch a glimpse of it passing by, a shadow of another world just a heart beat away and hidden in the between,
you gotta look for it in the gaps, listen for it in the silence and celebrate it when it appears. Even if you have no clue what it means or what to do with it.  Orphan images can have a way of foreshadowing things yet to come.

This is a multiple exposure, I am sure of that but thats all I am sure of. 
doc rob








I

How I got the black

It's been several months since my last blog entry and i humbly beg the apology of all my fans, admirers, and enthralled readers!  Lots has transpired but little of true import and certainly nothing of lasting value.

Recently i had the honor of being part of the Durango Art Center's first inaugural "Who's New" art show.   The comments were  favorable and i felt that my latest work was well received.  Ego was thrilled and at the same time tortured .

This image was initially selected by my peerlessly supportive family and then by the jurists at the DAC.  The colors are quite strong and rich and made more so by the black background which gives the impression that the form was just sort of hanging there and thrust out from this inky darkness.  It was.  It is!   In my imagination I felt it thusly.  In the mind's eye i saw this  iris as lush, juicy, full, ripe.  A unique combination of color and shape, texture and  light.

i was surprised that the most commonly asked question was: "how did you get that black?"

i was surprised that no one asked: : "how did you get that depth of field and at the same time that dreamy softness?"

Below is the "original raw" image capture before the magic happened, before i went to work sculpting the shapes  and bringing forth the luminosity and creating the sense of mystery by painting in that black background. 

i guess its time to confess.  i use photoshop.  i try to practice photography as a contemplative and sacred art, but i use photoshop religiously.  However,  i prefer to think of it as being the case that photoshop gives me the tools and something else gives me guidance and vision.  

1) i cropped the image:   often when i compose what i see in the viewfinder is not what i see in my mind.  In the mind i see the image as it will be.

Here's a fun thing to try.  Practice composing your images horizontally in your mind while actually framing and taking the image in a vertical format.  Switch that around some times just for kicks.

Then, when you get down to working the other magic which is the craftship that goes into taking raw data and turning it into something else, my hope is that something nourishing will arise.  Leavened bread perhaps.  Food for soul known through the eyes.

2) i used selective color selectively.  Always do this using layers then play with the blend mode and of course the opacity settings.

3) A special yet to be announced prize to the first person who tells me what else i did.

doc rob

 

 

shooting through the heart

It was a day of judgement I reckon.    A bad day at work and i was caught up in the ancient drama of self-flaggelation for my "sins."  We all have those moments - moments that last, sometimes, for days.  i knew the story was old and i knew it was a lie.  But i could not shake the judge inside my mind and it was really fucking up my photography.  Ugg!  Nothing but wet limp black eye'd susan's.   Everywhere i looked i "saw" the "judge," the "critic," the "critical-mind" eager to find fault.

Clearly, it was time to take a second look!


"What the ##*%!" i thought glumly as i sank down to my knees onto the soft, moist grass and started to pry and peer at the life occuring before me.  in the garden.  on that day.  at that time.  "Hmmm....nothing but soft wet muted colors, so dank, depressing," i thought and then it hit me.  What i could "see" was a reflection of my own damp, down-in-the-mouth mood. So i knelt and set up tripod clamping down the 200mm Nikkor macro and i sat and i looked.  i observed.  i allowed curiosity to arise within.  i started to breathe and use the breath to anchor me, to still the mind racing inside, to come to some sort of screeching halt!  Feel the air on my face, know i need to get out the bug spray, feel the way-much-slower-pace of the place and the feel of the space, settle in and begin the work of getting out of my own way!

i started to see what i was not able to "see" before when the "judge" was behind my eye's.  Patterns emerge.  Raw shapes of color and light fill the lens.  i find it exciting to see what comes together in the mind when nothing is in focus in the viewfinder!   i find it challenging to try and find some blend of camera skill and technique with the randomly playful....the eternal "what-if" i like to playfully ask, and the mindfulness of "beginner's mind,"  and be given an image that delights!  An image that somehow opens the heart......

Flowers, i realize are not what i seem to be seeing as i look through the lens.  i start with the energy or the mood of "suzan,"  then "her" shape and shapes lending to a pleasant composition i like things with a little flow.  Color and colors against colors are next on the the run-down-list and here one must experiment, often widely,  to happen upon that exposure where the colors work together. And sometimes they just don't.  i don't know why but when thats the case one can only absorb with their heart and forego the memory card. And finally, how to  take all those ingredients and combine them in some self-pleasing way! WHEW!  That makes me tired just typing it....  and as always one must allow room for the "More."

These are both multiple-exposures.  The one above was conceived of as a "time" shot.  9 exposures taken in some sequence allowing for the wind to blow and drops of water to carress and then fall.  This one here is also 9 exposures and conceived of as more a "movement" shot.  The neat thing about both is that both subjects choose me,  on separate days, and even cooler is that even though the pics are not "killers!" i experienced them both as wonderous gifts.  As i knelt, eye glued to the back of the camera,  i heard a voice whispering:  "this is love."  i remember experiencing a big ole smile both when i clicked and when i looked at what had returned to me.  i laughed and danced a little there in that garden and understod it all as evidence of the "dharma of god" of the "dance of life,"  and i felt blessed.
doc rob

Iris Bob's

For about the last 15 years give or take a year hear or there, i've been going to Iris Bob's every Memorial day.  Bob grows "Tall Bearded Iris," and he does it smack in the middle of Denver and he has become a Master at it.  Bob is the national president of the "Tall Bearded Iris" society.  Most of all though, Bob and his family are as gentle as the blossoms of beauty and joy they grow.  And every year they are gorgous and every year they are totally different.  Day to day they change.  Minute to minute if you can find the sun dancing on a lady's beard.

i don't know why exactly and to be honest, i find myself not caring one whit to find out,  why it is, that i go back to the same place and the same life form year and season time after time.   Initially,when i first step into the Iris patch,  i am blind.  i look bu† do not see. Initially, the Iris all look the same and will continue to do so for as long as i hold onto "seeing" "Iris" as concept rather than as a uniquely beautiful manifestation of life's joy happening right frigging in front ot me! Sometimes its a bitch stepping back and out of my "expert photographer mind" and jumping into the unknown waters of a "beginners mind,"  of seeing with a childs heart and eyes instead.  Instead of the know-it-all-seen-it-all-ain't-nothing-new-under-the-sun-been-there-done-that eyes of a curmudgeonly old coot.

Let me explain.  You see, Iris' only bloom once a year so its a big deal when they do.  When they do, i immerse myself in their arising.  Their aroma, their colors and many subtle hues, their lines and edges, their flutterings and muted whispers as they dance in the sun and wind.  Each time i sink down to the ground having found or felt or been drawn to a particular grouping, or color (s) and i give full concentration to the art and the craft of image making.  This concentration is built upon excitement and interest and on awe and wonder.  As it deepens, serenity and joy often arise.  The image is always surprizing........But this does not happen until i have worked through the images in my mind's-eye of the "way it was before."   And this takes time.  It takes awareness.  Awareness which blossoms from the roots of mindfulness.

i was sitting....hiding really.  From the noisy crowds milling about the Denver Botanic Gardens.  it was a hot day and i was lamenting and moaning, i was complaining and judging left right up and down. Nothing was right!  Blah Blah Blah.  i watched ego do its bitter complaint of "oh poor me" i watched as ego shot slings and arrows of "how bad it all was," the old refrain of victimization.  A song with no tune and little rhythm.  i felt my body scrunch down, my heart turn inwards, and i knew there was simply no way i was going to be able to have any fun much less photograph a blooming thing until i could!!

So i found some shade and began to practice mindfulness.  Paying attention to sounds.  Bird song (most pleasant) construction sounds - not!  Leaning back i let go and focused instead on love.   i remembered recent experiences of sitting in love with people i love and my heart opened a bit more.  In that opening i saw that i could not possibly see what was present and available to me in the here n now (the there n then) as long as my memories of before continued to cloud my mind.  Had to let go of the past.  Let go of the judging mind which could not see what it refused to accept.  That nothing stays the same - that everything changes.  The "garden-in-my-mind" simply was not and never would be the "garden-before-my-eyes."  i understood.

 Playing is essential.  A child's heart is a heart inclined, among other things, towards play. it's a heart inclined towards curiosity and joy, wonderment and delight.

Last year it would not have occured to me to take four exposures and find compositions in which i could kinda "walk my way into the flower" using very careful and precise focusing.  A kind of intense concentration building upon mindfulness and contemplation and employing the best Nikon has to offer and the kind of patience that seems to only grow out of a realization that everything is perfect as it is.  In the moment.

This is a 4-stop multiple exposure.  Al, a guy i know told me he was "a 4 stop man."  So i decided to try and be like Al.   Can't say that i know how to fully utilize the windows it opens up just yet...........BUT.

A cool thing is that you can play with pre-visualization.  Blurring and defocusing in different ways to creat color washes, hints of depth and of the "more."  Plus, there is simply no way in hell you could get edges on three or four distinct focal planes in any other way.  Stopping down would eliminate the mystery and shatter the softness of the image.  True!  Its not sharp.  Its not about sharpness as much as its about feeling and mood.  About trying to wor out, work past, and see through the clouds of our memories.

These last years, seem to find me perceiving a juxtaposition of old and new, of form and energy changing from one stage / form to an other.  i am sure this is a reflection of my mortality. i see and feel the bones inside me.  "Dead man walking."  i am finding freedom from letting go.  Peace in not knowing, and joy in the widening and the opening of my heart. 

doc rob

On Being 7 yrs old with a Nikon

Of late.  when photographing.  I often imagine "seeing" with the eye' s of a child.  By experimenting with this kind of mind-tone, I work on being open to the world around me as deeply and as mindfully as I can.   I think of child-like qualities, of curiosity and wonderment, of merriment, and delight.  More often then not, at some point I start to experience flashes of awakening and instances of deep joy.

This image is about imagining looking at the world through eyes connected to the heart qualities of a child.  In my mind I am 7 years old.

Its a Saturday.  The day is warm, my belly is full, I feel happy and content and am on my way to visit a friend.  My heart is open to the world and life is joyful.

The technique is a combination of multiple exposures, focus, and exposure.  The "art" is maybe something along the lines with what William James meant by  "the more."




This image to the left, was taken after a delightful hour or so in a garden.  I was standing on the driveway, looking up into this beautiful glowing tree and wondering if i could somehow manage to record this moment in some way that might do the experience of being there and seeing it, justice?

So I just stood there looking up in wonderment and kept dialing until I  managed to dialed in the focus and the exposure until the camera and the spirit were in synch.  This is an example of a two-shot multiple exposure image.  When doing these kinds of images one frame is always in focus and one is not.  How much it is not in focus is, it seems, always an unknown factor.  Its that element of time, of chance, of serendipity, that comes to one every now and then.  Its that experience of "the more," I think.
                                                               




 This was taken in the worst possible light in the best possible way.  This image in Greenmont  is also a two frame multiple exposure.   Among several  things I have learned from using this technique are: 1) constrasty lighting conditions  become softened and 2) compositions that utilize space tend to lend themselves to this kind of photographic play.

Colors of the Mind

                                 Buddha says "consciousness is colored by the states that visit it."  

 
When I am with a subject its my intention to connect  on some level.  To do so requires a certain investment, of time, patience, curiosity, and suspension of judgment.

In my experience beauty and stillness tends to create states of gratitude and joy.  Which got me to wondering what if the colors we see reveal (and hide) the feeling tone and the mental-states of our experience?  If so, what can we learn to see about ourselves through our subjects?  I've been photographing flowers for a long time and over time the colors I am drawn too have changed.  The flowers I am drawn too, have not changed,  But the  compositions and the color juxtapositions  of fore and background has changed not inconsiderably over the years.

The color combinations of purples and greens has a soothing, tranquil feeling tone about it for me.  When I work with those feeling-tones I often notice my mind grows still, the focus of my concentration narrows yet paradoxically I sense a widening of spaciousness, i become energized, my curiosity and inquiry fully engaged.  The photographic experience often becomes either a series of moments or a single eventful moment gifting me with a certified "Hallmark Movie Moment."  I am trying to show  the mood of my mind, and the rootedness of my opening to life.  Am I being grateful or greedy, wise or wise-assed?  In short, as Minor White once asked of his work: "does it feed the soul and if so, how?"

I wonder how and if this image feeds and nurtures others, if at all?  As for how it nurishes me, I am still exploring.  The original image of this image was taken at the Denver Botanical Gardens, hand held with a Tamron 90mm macro lens.  It selected me in that its coloration combinations acts as a magnet of the eye so of course, I keep coming back.  But this particular image holds a secret.

One day  I was out photographing and it was one of those occasions on which "nothing" seemed to rouse my eyes or my curiosity.  It so happened that I had some work prints with me and one was this morning glory.    It occured to me that I had brought my own "subject" with me.  I laid the print down under  a tree and watched how the light flickered and danced across the print, how the light re-illuminated various parts of the image and it occured to me.  Why not?

I like the idea and will continue to re-photograph photographs in which the subject truely is purely the light.  Light Dancing.

As for the colors, see colors of tranquility.

doc rob